Trust This Force of Love

God is pure love, and I am His. Hallelujah! I cannot have any basis for fear; I am the beloved of Pure Love!

It appears Mom’s journey is very near the end in this realm and will soon begin in the next. We visited with her last night. – it’s so difficult to see her in what appears to be a state of complete unawareness of everything and everyone around her. Then I grabbed one of her journals ‘at random’ (praying for God’s guidance as I was reaching) from my sister’s shelf this morning and it all makes so much more sense! This entry feels like a gift and a celebration – Mom describes who she is in Christ – and it has absolutely nothing to do with her disease! Oh Jesus! Thank you!

Meditation Thought: For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,  from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:14-21)

I am strengthened by God’s might in my inner spirit. Christ dwells in my heart through faith. I am rooted and grounded in love and have power to comprehend everything God desires me to understand – God is able to do far more abundantly than all that I ask or think. THEREFORE I SHALL NOT BE AFRAID. I SHALL NOT BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF. I will trust this Force of Love within me – through my faith and works of faith I can trust my Lord to see me through all the happenings on the Way for we walk together – no – we “shall mount up with wings like eagles, we shall run and not be weary, we shall walk and not faint.” We walk by faith – in Truth, not by sight of circumstances. God is pure love, and I am His. Hallelujah! I cannot have any basis for fear; I am the beloved of Pure Love!

Come My Beloved

“Come my beloved. Walk with Me, talk with me, and we shall do good in a hurting world.”

Meditation Thought: “Therefore, since we have been justified with faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.” Romans 5:1

By faith I am standing in grace. It does not matter that I do not feel at peace and comfortable and happy at this moment. It does matter that God is with me; God is in me, and God is guiding me.

Moreover, He is guiding circumstances concerning me. How do I know? Because He told me so – He said so through prophets, through the faithful who have followed Him, and through the Word and through circumstances.

I am not in the situation I prefer – but I am in the loving guiding ship of my Creator, my Guide and my Protector. I trust you, Lord, whoever or whatever You are. I may falter – often – but You know how to guide me to places you want me to be, to think and say and do what is pleasing you – and therefore is pleasing to me and to others involved with me.

“Come my beloved. Walk with Me, talk with me, and we shall do good in a hurting world.”

(Context: Mom wrote this a few months after her Alzheimer’s diagnosis and just days after going through both a round of memory testing and finishing radiation for breast cancer.)

My Creator, Sustainer and Helper

Meditation Thought: “Go to the ant you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer, and gathers food at its harvest. (Proverbs 6:6-8)

“Do not fear – I will help you. I will help others through you. I have prepared ahead of you. I can use every event and circumstance for good – providing you heed my instructions. Be alert. Be at peace. These events and circumstances are not antagonists but co-joiners to accomplishing good works.”

Mom went on to share throughout the day in various written prayers. These were written in May of 2002 – shortly after the Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

“All right, Lord, my intentions are good. But – good intentions do not accomplish the deed. Please give me the will and the strength to accomplish the works which you desire of me.”

“Dear Lord, my Creator and Sustainer and helper: Thank you! I am more convinced than ever that you are with me, helping and encouraging me – and through the trial my family and I are enduring that You are working good – for us and probably for other people too.

I almost see myself from outside myself and wonder how I can feel so calm – really almost excited too – when I have such an upsetting diagnosis. Somehow You have entered into my mind – even my emotions – that you have assigned me a quest to help people to either avoid the disease or cope with it. I have a big imagination, but it couldn’t conjure up the thoughts – and particularly the emotional feeling – that is taking place. I don’t know what the future holds, but Lord I pray that I can always hold on to your reality in my life as much as I am at this moment.

As is natural, I know I don’t want to be a burden, and yet if it is necessary so that You can perform some action that is Your quest, then I’ll accept it. I’m not accepting it gladly, but as a little child obeys its parent, that is the intent of my heart. You have worked miracles for my good, and I know you can work a miracle for my good in this situation.

…I praise You and thank You for what You are doing for me and for others. I don’t know that Your will is for the situation, but I do know that it has been in some of the most painful experiences of my life that You have revealed Your love and Your power to me.

Therefore, my pledge to you this day is that I shall try to accept that ‘Thy will be done.’

… Please sustain me, Lord. I know how weak and cowardly I am, but I know too, that these qualities can be restructured and renewed with Your power to make me ‘a new creation’.”

She then shared a bit about this meditation process – as she was correcting an “error” in the personal prayer part (not shared here) where she said a family member had called her ‘yesterday’ and it had actually been several days before. She writes:

“Although I honestly believe that the thoughts in meditation time are prompted by God, for they flow so easily, and so often later prove valid, still I am involved in the process and am prone to error. I don’t know the ‘ins and outs’ of these sessions, but I do know that just trying to communicate in this manner with God has enriched my life and helped other people.”