Accept it

Since I didn’t create anything on my own, I can’t control anything on m own.

Meditation Thought: “…whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

“Think about such things. This is the key to opening the door that reveals the reality of My creation. You would have me orchestrate every detail so you could be comfortable and happy and content 100% of the time. This is not feasible. Our relationship could not have the depth we both desire if we did not have the interaction of dealing with problems and of solving them together. You do get frustrated – even somewhat rebellious and angry at times when you are aggravated with visitations. But think: How often have these annoying situations brought about visibly good results when you pray and when you try to deal with them competently? Yes, you know! Much good for you and for others has resulted. Your trials enable you to ease the way for others who have similar trials – just as you experience their helping you from the knowledge gained from their own trials. You may not like this arrangement, but it is My will and My plan. Accept it; there is a purpose, and you shall gain as you learn from each experience.”

Response: All right, Lord. I admit I’d rather have my own way – all ‘sweetness and light’ in my life, but since I didn’t create anything on my own, I can’t control anything on m own. I’m ‘stuck’ with You being my ‘parent’ as well as my Creator. I don’t often think of it as ‘being stuck’, but at downhearted moments, I have to admit that I’d like to have my own agenda. At one level I know I’m not that competent, just as a child is not competent to handle the situation he is exposed to at times. That doesn’t stop us from being ‘pouty’ at times, though, does it? Thank you for forgiving us when we realize that we hadn’t seen the whole picture clearly and that you were right after all!

My Creator, Sustainer and Helper

Meditation Thought: “Go to the ant you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer, and gathers food at its harvest. (Proverbs 6:6-8)

“Do not fear – I will help you. I will help others through you. I have prepared ahead of you. I can use every event and circumstance for good – providing you heed my instructions. Be alert. Be at peace. These events and circumstances are not antagonists but co-joiners to accomplishing good works.”

Mom went on to share throughout the day in various written prayers. These were written in May of 2002 – shortly after the Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

“All right, Lord, my intentions are good. But – good intentions do not accomplish the deed. Please give me the will and the strength to accomplish the works which you desire of me.”

“Dear Lord, my Creator and Sustainer and helper: Thank you! I am more convinced than ever that you are with me, helping and encouraging me – and through the trial my family and I are enduring that You are working good – for us and probably for other people too.

I almost see myself from outside myself and wonder how I can feel so calm – really almost excited too – when I have such an upsetting diagnosis. Somehow You have entered into my mind – even my emotions – that you have assigned me a quest to help people to either avoid the disease or cope with it. I have a big imagination, but it couldn’t conjure up the thoughts – and particularly the emotional feeling – that is taking place. I don’t know what the future holds, but Lord I pray that I can always hold on to your reality in my life as much as I am at this moment.

As is natural, I know I don’t want to be a burden, and yet if it is necessary so that You can perform some action that is Your quest, then I’ll accept it. I’m not accepting it gladly, but as a little child obeys its parent, that is the intent of my heart. You have worked miracles for my good, and I know you can work a miracle for my good in this situation.

…I praise You and thank You for what You are doing for me and for others. I don’t know that Your will is for the situation, but I do know that it has been in some of the most painful experiences of my life that You have revealed Your love and Your power to me.

Therefore, my pledge to you this day is that I shall try to accept that ‘Thy will be done.’

… Please sustain me, Lord. I know how weak and cowardly I am, but I know too, that these qualities can be restructured and renewed with Your power to make me ‘a new creation’.”

She then shared a bit about this meditation process – as she was correcting an “error” in the personal prayer part (not shared here) where she said a family member had called her ‘yesterday’ and it had actually been several days before. She writes:

“Although I honestly believe that the thoughts in meditation time are prompted by God, for they flow so easily, and so often later prove valid, still I am involved in the process and am prone to error. I don’t know the ‘ins and outs’ of these sessions, but I do know that just trying to communicate in this manner with God has enriched my life and helped other people.”